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Showing posts with label acceptance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label acceptance. Show all posts

Friday, March 18, 2016

The One Where My Journal Is Finished

This has honestly been a surreal experience now that I sit down and think about it. It was strange to methodically sit down for 10 minutes a day to write down the first thoughts that came into my brain. At first I thought it was going to be hard, as it usually happens whenever I am assigned a writing project and its not voluntary my brain just kinda goes blank for the entire time and I have to consciously put an effort to write. But the thing about this project, the structure of it it kinda let me let loose and literally write down the first thing in my brain. The first few times it was very sporadic, you  could see how fast my mind went from one thought to the other and then back to a past thought. It was hard to keep track of the writing at times because most of the time my mind went much faster than my hand could and by the time my hand was writing a word I was already 5 words ahead and the sentences got muddled.

By the middle of the project, around week four, is when I finally sorta got the hang of it. I still skipped words and occasionally my mind veered off of subject completely and I forgot about writing for a few seconds. But the thing is that what made it easier to do was that my mind is almost constantly running in an internal monologue reminding me of things I have to do, characters I have yet to develop, stories I haven't finished writing, etc. Some times they happen one at a time, sometimes they happen in twos and three's and sometimes they are all screaming at me at the same time to the point where I have to stop whatever I'm doing, take a deep breath and organize my mind before continuing. And while it was just basically writing down the never ending monologue in my brain it helped me organize my thoughts, whether I did  it before school or before I sat down to do homework writing down the whirlwind in my mind before either of these gave me a kind of peace of mind, a freedom from the erratic thoughts that course through my mind like fire. So maybe I might continue doing this even if the project is finished, but not limiting myself to ten minutes because then it feels pressured and that wont help at all.

Life Compass


The life compasses on the other hand reflect how my personality and bodily functions are affected by my weekly occurrences. Everything ran smoothly and stable for the most part, the exceptions to this are the Spiritual & Physical factors. Right of the bat you can tell I started of low in both physical and spiritual factors, considering when we began doing the life compasses I was recovering from a cold and my friendships were falling apart around me, in the next week everything took a bump after I rested and spent time with my best friends and family but the next week they took another plunge because I walked everywhere because the car was in the shop. The reason week 4 is high in all the factors is because I did 4 compasses instead of  my usual three but still it was an overall amazing week because despite all the University stuff I had to do, my aunt from New York came to visit and I got to see her.

Week 5 on the other hand was very draining, I had a very long week which included, 2 tests, 3 presentations and a lab report and after finally finishing everything I got a throat infection. Week 6 took another bump up mostly because I had finished everything earlier in the week, plus I had the literary contest which was both exhilarating and terrifying and the only think I had left to do was study for my history test the next week and two of my best friends were coming over to have an X-Men/Marvel marathon with me from Thursday to Sunday. Week 7 stayed pretty steady despite the punch in the face that was the geography exam, which was cushioned by the fact that I got a freaking A in my CIBI test which I was not expecting AT ALL. And so we conclude with week 8, as you can see in the graph it took another small plunge, understandable considering the hell that was the Assembly and the fact that I got stick from spending 7 and half hours in a dust infused amphitheater which caused ANOTHER throat infection, this time extending all the way to my ears and sinuses.

All in all this was a very enlightening experience, and it helps me organize myself so I might actually continue doing it if only for the benefit of clearing my mind.

Goodbye ladies, gents and celestial beings, goodbye.

Wait no you know what, it feels kinda wrong to leave this without a song since the last three posts have ended with one, so here you go: